Tender Trap Ch 10 - Lifeline

Chapter 10 - Lifeline
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"Please Karai, please help me." He murmured over and over.

She felt his large hands pawing and grabbing the back of her shirt in his distress; balling the fabric into his fists, stretching it tautly across her front; clinging to her like she was his lifeline. He nuzzled his wet cheeks into her chest, shaking all the while. With her arms wrapped around his shoulders and shell, she couldn't stop the momentum as his thighs bunched and pressed her back. She lost her balance and they tumbled to the ground into the splintered wood and broken glass. Her breath knocked from her with a grunt.

Leonardo held his body to hers; moved his mouth up her neck, his lips repeating the whispering pleas, stopping in between saying her name to kiss her and nuzzle her neck and jaw with desperate fervor and haste. As if he was plunging forward without thinking. She felt his panting breath warm against her neck, raising goosebumps where it caressed her skin. His heart hammered against him and Karai could feel the resounding throb of it matching her own through her shirt.

Fear shot through her as his arms tightened around her suddenly and his body quivered on top of hers; pressing down. She felt his need like a physical force; it washed over her, overwhelming her senses with its primal energy. Suddenly, she was very aware of the fact that she was alone with a very strong, very emotionally fragile mutant ninja. Panic fluttered through her like a caged bird; her heart raced. She felt suffocated and frightened.

"Please, help me Karai, please." His voice breathy and whispering against her neck.

Karai pushed against his shoulders but it was like pushing against a brick wall, solid and unrelenting. She squirmed but he held her fast. She couldn't break free. The weight of him pinned her securely. Her heels dug into the floor but gave her no leverage. This wasn't happening.

The sounds of his pleading mixed with a deep whimpering sound that came from the base of his throat. His breathing turned husky and labored, he pulled back and stared into her eyes; his own stormy and dark; pleading for her consent. They balanced on a precipice together; one word from her, that's all it would take to tip them over. His eyes searched hers, waiting; pouring his desire, his yearning loneliness, and desperate hope through his gaze into her. It was too much. She had to make him stop before he lost control and dragged her with him. If she could make him stop. Her heart fluttered. Her hands still braced against his muscular shoulders, still pushed against him, still made no headway. She drew a tremulous breath.

"Stop," she commanded, but couldn't quite hide the waver of fear in her voice.

Was it the word itself or the fear he heard in her voice that seemed to crush him from the inside out? She wasn't sure. He closed his eyes and dropped his head. But just like that, she felt him gather control over himself. It was . . . amazing. Her fear and panic receded as he moved off her. He slid off her body and sat next to her; one arm slung over his bent knee. His shallow soft panting was the only thing that gave away how difficult the last few seconds were for him.

'Good luck finding someone who'd pity-fuck you!'

The memory of her cutting remark sliced deep into his wounded heart. More tears spilled free, he rubbed his cheek with his shoulder; feeling the ache from the gash of Splinter's blade as he moved. Shame hung on his heart, weighing him down. Nice try, Leo. What did he think was going to happen? She would just suddenly take him into her arms and accept his love? She doesn't want you, you're a freak to her. Splinter was right. I am a fool, he thought bitterly.

Leonardo gathered in a deep breath and glanced with only his glassy eyes, not exactly at her, but in her general direction. He couldn't quite look at her. He felt too fragile, like a glass already shattered but still just managing to hold together. It would kill him to look directly at her right now. He wouldn't be able to handle anymore cruelty nor was he strong enough to witness her apparent disgust of him.

Karai braced herself up on her elbows then raised herself to sit up. She stared at him, still feeling a bit shaken but oddly not angry with him. Her mind was a fuzzy mess of confused thoughts.

"I'm sorry," he said. The words fell soft and flat.

The sweet, desperate pleas were gone, disappeared into the dust motes swirling silently around them. His tear-streaked face now a neutral mask. He wouldn't look at her. The walls were up again between them. But she'd seen the cracks; peered through them to discover his tender, wounded heart. A heart made of things you read about in stories but never actually find in real life: honor, nobility, kindness, and strength. But there was also a deep loneliness within him and it cried out to her own.

With a trembling hand running through her hair, she composed herself and decided something. She wanted to help him. And, she looked up as the doves returned to their roosting spot above them in the burnt out rafters, their wings white and pure in the rays of the afternoon light, she'd answer his pleas . . . but not now. Not while he was an emotional mess. This wasn't how she wanted it. She realized with a thrill of fear spiked with bright joy that this was what she'd wanted all along. Karai stared at him, sitting lost and despondent; and was stunned. All the teasing, the fighting, the frustration and anger . . . it all lead to this revelation. She nearly laughed out loud. It felt so good to have clarity for a change.

She smiled and stood up abruptly. With a nervous frown, Leonardo watched as she strode through the debris and climbed over the broken statue of a saint that he'd knocked over earlier, to the mess he left of their first aid supplies near the hidden entrance-way. He saw her lift a bag, open it, and rummage around a bit then turn back to him with a bunch of items in her arms. He braced, unsure. He was without a weapon.

Karai returned; dropped the bundle near his leg and crouched next to him near his injured arm. She held out her hand; raised her eyebrow, waiting. He blinked, confused. With a sigh, she reached under his wounded arm, drew it close to her and began to unwrap the loosely wound bandage.

"You did a terrible job on this. I hope you're not the family medic."

She unscrewed a bottle of water and carefully poured it over the gash, washing away some of the dirt, swiping gently with her fingers, knocking bits of glass away from the opening. With the tips of her fingers, she eased the skin up and pressed it closed.

"Press here," she ordered.

With a loss for words and never taking his eyes off her, he moved his other hand to hold his skin in place while she threaded a curved needle that she'd taken from their first aid stash. She knocked his hand away, a bit roughly and started to stitch the wound. Leonardo could only watch her as the needle bit into his skin with expert care. He showed no outward sign of discomfort. She wasn't surprised. She snipped the thread with her teeth; poured more water over the wound and wrapped it in fresh bandages. When finished a half smile played over her mouth.

"Let's take a look at those hands."

In a stupor he lifted his hands, palms down to her. She took his thick fingers into her hands and examined the slice running horizontally across the back of his hands.

"Hm. Not too deep. Look, they're already clotted."

Leonardo could only stare at her, his mouth open a little. She reached over and pulled out two large band aids and after pouring water over the cuts, she dabbed the back of his hands with a piece of fabric from her bag. She taped the band aids to hold them more securely in place.

"Why are you helping me?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Are you hungry?" she asked, completely ignoring his question. At her prompt, his stomach suddenly voiced its opinion on the matter; loudly. "Thought so." She stood and pointed at him. He stared at her, baffled.

"Don't go anywhere."

He sat in stunned silence as she slipped away. He listened as her footsteps raced away. Glancing at his wrapped hands he wondered what this was all about. He felt so confused. His mind wandered over the events of the last hour. He'd acted foolish and dishonorable; crying and forcing himself at her like that; allowing himself to lose control. It made him feel sick and deeply ashamed but also lucky that she didn't take the opportunity to knife him. I'd deserve it.

She isn't like that, his heart whispered. She wouldn't hurt me. Just like I would never hurt her.

The thought brought images of what happened earlier with Master Splinter. He cringed. He didn't want to think about what happened at the lair. When his mind started in that direction it felt like his heart was being crushed inside his chest. But he couldn't keep back the tide of memory and regret. How did things escalate so quickly? What was perfectly clear, was that Splinter had effectively ordered him to kill Karai next time he had the opportunity. He felt the familiar twist of anger and rebellion accompany the thought. He'd never hurt her, he thought stubbornly.

If Splinter wants to make someone else leader because of that, then . . . so be it.

Leonardo thought of what Splinter said about putting his brothers in danger. If his brothers were in danger, he knew he wouldn't hesitate. He wanted to tell Splinter that he would never, ever, put them in danger, that nothing would ever compromise him when it came to keeping them safe. But he never had the chance to voice it. Splinter had gotten so angry with him; angrier than he'd ever seen his father become. He sighed.

He thinks I've dishonored him and our family. But I've done nothing wrong.

He glanced at the bandages again, at the one on his arm. Karai had good in her, and even if he didn't…care for her so much, he knew there was just something special about her. He sighed. If only he could convince Splinter and make him understand.

Why wouldn't he just let me explain?

Leonardo's heart constricted painfully and he closed his eyes with his exhale. Opening his eyes, he flicked at a square piece of glass on the floor near his knee. Weariness weighed on him as his empty stomach rumbled again. It felt as if another migraine was starting to form behind his eyes.

Less than an hour later, Karai emerged with a bundle in her arms. He watched her warily as she approached and tossed the bundle at him. He caught it, looked at it astonished and bewildered.

"Clothes?" he asked.

"Put them on. We're going out." She held up two pair of boots. "Didn't know your size, but hopefully one of these will fit."

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"I know where he went, just let me go get him and bring him back," Raphael said.

Splinter sat in Donatello's infirmary as he finished stitching the wound in his shoulder. Gently, he wrapped gauze and then a bandage over the gash. Splinter held a claw over it and closed his eyes. He opened them and nodded at Donatello who helped him back into the sleeve of his robe.

"Thank you, my son. Well done, as always," he said to Donatello.

Raphael continued to pace only stopping when Splinter eased himself up from the chair and walked past him towards his room.

"Leave your brother be, Raphael. He needs time to consider his obligations to this family. He must realize that his duty in life to you and your brothers is most serious and must come before any and all selfish desires."

He placed a hand on Raphael's shoulder. They stared at each other. Raphael blinked as he thought his father looked as though he'd aged in the last few hours. His eyes were bloodshot with darkened circles showing beneath the thin fur there and his ears hung limply back against his head.

"But what if you're right about Karai? What if she's leading him right to the Shredder? That was an elite I fought."

Splinter seemed to shrink and beneath his fur, he paled. He opened his mouth but closed it and with a shake of his head as though banishing a frightening thought, he patted Raphael on his shoulder and then moved around him, walking out of the infirmary. Raphael followed him, Donatello only a step behind. Both straining their ears for his response.

"Leonardo will come back to us. He will come back," he repeated without answering Raphael's questions.

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The pants were easy. The material was thin and the waist band elastic. He had to roll the top over a few times, because the legs were a little long. The sweatshirt, on the other hand, was a bit more challenging. Leonardo's arms were through the arm holes, and his head popped through beneath the over-sized hood, but he couldn't quite reach behind to pull it over his shell. Karai stood back with her arms crossed as he circled in his attempt; stumbling and struggling all the while grunting and panting with the effort. She chuckled. He looked ridiculous. She stepped close to him and yanked the bottom down over his shell. He looked sheepishly up at her from under the shadow of the hood.

"You're adorable."

He blinked and looked away, blushing slightly, not wanting to get too excited over the comment, but his heart raced a little.

"Okay, let's try these boots."

She crouched down in front of him as he leaned against the wall for balance. Again he felt his face grow warm, though he wasn't exactly sure why. Something about her being so near him, her face so close to . . . he swallowed and cleared his throat. She grabbed his ankle and started to slide his foot into the first boot. It got stuck and she jammed it aggressively, trying to get it on. The first pair didn't come close, the second were a little big and they pinched in places, but he didn't complain.

"You good?"

He shrugged feeling ridiculous and uncomfortable. "Feels weird."

She smiled and jerked her head toward the exit. "Okay, let's get something to eat."

They moved towards the back of the church, climbing over broken boards where necessary. The pants pulled and stretched against his legs and his feet kept banging against things, but he managed. Karai dashed outside, but Leonardo hesitated just inside the shadowy doorway. The sun blazed overhead. He hung back, suddenly unsure and feeling afraid. Karai turned around, she'd been saying something that he didn't hear. She glanced around then came back and grabbed him by the elbow.

"Come on. What are you a vampire?"

He blinked as his eyes watered from the sunlight. His feet dragged through the gravel and dirt as she tugged him forward. She stopped, stooped a bit and looked at him beneath the hood, picking the edge of it up with her thumb and finger.

"Trust me," she said.

He wanted to, really he did, but . . . Splinter taught them to never chance going out in the day. It was too risky.

"C'mon, the sounds your stomach is making is starting to scare me. Just keep your head down and your hands in your pockets and you'll be fine."

He nodded. A thrill went through him as she linked her arm through his as they walked. She was saying something about food trucks and whether he'd want Greek or Mexican, or did he want a foot-long, whatever that meant. But he wasn't really listening to a word she said. All he could focus on was her arm through his and her body pressed close to him as they walked together. Like a regular, normal couple. He gulped.

As they turned down the street and made their way into a neighborhood more and more populated with people, he realized that no one paid them any attention at all and he felt himself relaxing more and more. It was going to be okay. He steadied his breathing and took it all in: the sun shining above them, the people moving around them, the noise of traffic and laughter of kids playing basketball in the parking lot they passed; her smiling as she talked; he floated along in blissful joy, all the while holding to her arm with his like a lifeline between dreams and reality.

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